It’s not looking good. He seems to have lost hope of even making it to the end of the day. I’ve made my peace and, at this point, I am praying for death to just come and get it over with already. You see, Husband has a—-I can barely bring myself to say it out loud–a cold. THERE I SAID IT! I know what you are thinking! “A cold? That isn’t serious, much less terminal”. And that is true, for MOST people. The kids have all been dealing with this seasonal crud for several days and they are fine. What y’all don’t understand is that Husband doesn’t just get a regular cold. He gets attacked by the SUPER, HORRIBLE, KILLER cold germs. It is just much, much, much worse for him. He is in a fight for his very life.
All I can say is, whether it is caused by this crippling cold or my bare hands, he is thisclose to fucking death. I would, LITERALLY, rather have all four children come down with the stomach flu AT THE SAME TIME than deal with Husband waking up with a sore throat. One cough and the unspoken change of his status to INFIRM is not far away. Apparently, this also requires complete bed rest as part of the self-imposed quarantine in our bedroom. Any medicine touted to help his symptoms, rest assured, will be utilized but, undoubtedly, will fail to compete with the devastating magnitude of his man-cold. This man-cold is accompanied by a man-cough, which requires a degree of force that causes his entire body to contract so that the bed would move, suddenly and violently, intermittently throughout the night. It was like trying to sleep in a vehicle during an off-road venture. So, I’m left alone to deal with all the whining and crying and the kids aren’t much better. 
GOOOOSEFRAABAA—GOOOOOSEFRAAAABAAA—I love my husband. I love my husband. I love my husband. Would a mercy killing defense stand up in court? I mean, he is suffering! It would only be an act of love to end such monumental misery. Okay, okay! Fine! I’m just going to hurt him. Just a little bit. 
Views from the Couch 
This wouldn’t be funny except this is so TRUE. I always keep a shovel handy in case he doesn’t make it and I have to bury him in the backyard. Hope YOU recover soon!
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Thank you for your support during this difficult time.
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LMFAO and praying that you recover quickly from his (clears throat) horrible cold. Lol!
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We are just taking it day by day—well, at this point–minute by minute.
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If the Mercy Killing defense doesn’t stand, you can certainly use the temporary insanity defense. Every woman knows that men degenerate into toddlers when they are sick. My HB had a cold/sore throat for about a week and you would have thought the world was ending! Good luck to you
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Mwahaha. Well said, my dear, well said. May the force be with you…
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I’m sorry to hear that you married a wimp. I usually just deal with my symptoms and my wife doesn’t know how sick I am. I cough and sneeze, but I learned growing up from _my_ dad that you work through these things. I might take a sick day now and then, but even so, I feel like I’m playing hooky. 😀
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Your wife would have to provide a notarized letter confirming your claim. You might as well tell me that you own a unicorn. 😉
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Actually, she’s the one who turns into a baby when she gets sick, though being a stay at home mom, she doesn’t get to retreat into the bedroom when she does. I do send her to soak in a hot bath and take the girls when she is feeling poorly after I get home from work.
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are you sure you’re not married to My husband??
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There are about 11 other women that have come forward, so far, that we seem to share a husband with.
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I must add my name to the list of women who think we share a husband!
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What would be even better is if all this happened, and his, his not mine, mind you, parents were coming to visit in 1 day for the first time in (I think) 7 years. I love cleaning so much for people who don’t even make an effort to spell their grandchildren’s names correctly(not that I’m bitter). Maybe I’ll run away.
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But, if they are his parents, and they visited while he was sick, wouldn’t they help tend to his needs while he has the horrific application?
Signed,
Naïve in California
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“Affliction.” Dang it, I meant “affliction.” I hate when I fumble the punch line!
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LOL 😀
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Time to watch this. But pee first, or else it won’t be pretty.
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I. Am. DYING.
That is EXACTLY what it is like. I cannot stop laughing. Tears. It hurts.
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I know! Possibly my favorite YouTube video of all time! So. Damn. Funny.
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I work in an all-male office, and it is hilarious when any of them gets man-flu: the office smells of menthol, and they walk around with a box of man-size tissue. They whine about needing a cup of tea, they whine about choices of soup for lunch, they whine about cold medicines, then whine about …. well everything! I know their wives send them to work because they need a break … but I end up having no place to scape if my own husband is at home with the flu as well 🙂
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That sounds like the very definition of hell!
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LOLOL I was married for 30 years, and this is one thing I don’t miss. I laughed so hard when I read this though. Been there. Shrank the T-shirt and now it doesn’t fit. Thank you for reminding me that perspective is everything.
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At first I thought this was serious then as you continued I began to doubt that and think it was meant to me a joke of some sort however the comments lead me to believe that it is once again the former.
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End whose “monumental misery?” Yours or his? Thanks for the all-too-true for all of us post. BTW, it doesn’t get any better as y’all get older. Sigh.
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my dad is so much worse than even this. he is a disabled vet and thinks if you have anything less than a sucking chest wound, it ain’t worth his worry…but oh boy when he gets sick watch out! my mom and him had the stomach flu at the same time and she passed out into the bathtub while sitting on the toilet w/ a trash can at her feet and he said she was pitiful for ‘falling asleep’ while being on the toilet. when she explained to him what really happened he told her it was ‘so easy for her to throw up’ and she should try having to deal w/ what he was going thru.
growing up w/ my dad has certainly ruined any chance of me having sympathy for my husband tho.
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