Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

URGENT: Prayers Needed!

It’s not looking good. He seems to have lost hope of even making it to the end of the day.  I’ve made my peace and, at this point, I am praying for death to just come and get it over with already. You see, Husband has a—-I can barely bring myself to say it out loud–a cold. THERE I SAID IT! I know what you are thinking! “A cold? That isn’t serious, much less terminal”. And that is true, for MOST people. The kids have all been dealing with this seasonal crud for several days and they are fine. What y’all don’t understand is that Husband doesn’t just get a regular cold. He gets attacked by the SUPER, HORRIBLE, KILLER cold germs. It is just much, much, much worse for him. He is in a fight for his very life.sick-husband

All I can say is, whether it is caused by this crippling cold or my bare hands, he is thisclose to fucking death. I would, LITERALLY, rather have all four children come down with the stomach flu AT THE SAME TIME than deal with Husband waking up with a sore throat.  One cough and the unspoken change of his  status to INFIRM is not far away. Apparently, this also requires complete bed rest as part of the self-imposed quarantine in our bedroom. Any medicine touted to help his symptoms, rest assured, will be utilized but, undoubtedly, will fail to compete with the devastating magnitude of his man-cold.  This man-cold is accompanied by a man-cough, which requires a degree of force that causes his entire body to contract so that the bed would move, suddenly and violently, intermittently throughout the night. It was like trying to sleep in a vehicle during an off-road venture.  So, I’m left alone to deal with all the whining and crying and the kids aren’t much better. Big-Baby-Husband-4x6-100-ppi

GOOOOSEFRAABAA—GOOOOOSEFRAAAABAAA—I love my husband. I love my husband. I love my husband. Would a mercy killing defense stand up in court? I mean, he is suffering! It would only be an act of love to end such monumental misery. Okay, okay! Fine! I’m just going to hurt him. Just a little bit. sick-husband


I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

25 thoughts on “URGENT: Prayers Needed!

  1. If the Mercy Killing defense doesn’t stand, you can certainly use the temporary insanity defense. Every woman knows that men degenerate into toddlers when they are sick. My HB had a cold/sore throat for about a week and you would have thought the world was ending! Good luck to you


  2. I’m sorry to hear that you married a wimp. I usually just deal with my symptoms and my wife doesn’t know how sick I am. I cough and sneeze, but I learned growing up from _my_ dad that you work through these things. I might take a sick day now and then, but even so, I feel like I’m playing hooky. 😀


      1. Actually, she’s the one who turns into a baby when she gets sick, though being a stay at home mom, she doesn’t get to retreat into the bedroom when she does. I do send her to soak in a hot bath and take the girls when she is feeling poorly after I get home from work.


  3. What would be even better is if all this happened, and his, his not mine, mind you, parents were coming to visit in 1 day for the first time in (I think) 7 years. I love cleaning so much for people who don’t even make an effort to spell their grandchildren’s names correctly(not that I’m bitter). Maybe I’ll run away.


  4. I work in an all-male office, and it is hilarious when any of them gets man-flu: the office smells of menthol, and they walk around with a box of man-size tissue. They whine about needing a cup of tea, they whine about choices of soup for lunch, they whine about cold medicines, then whine about …. well everything! I know their wives send them to work because they need a break … but I end up having no place to scape if my own husband is at home with the flu as well 🙂


  5. LOLOL I was married for 30 years, and this is one thing I don’t miss. I laughed so hard when I read this though. Been there. Shrank the T-shirt and now it doesn’t fit. Thank you for reminding me that perspective is everything.


  6. At first I thought this was serious then as you continued I began to doubt that and think it was meant to me a joke of some sort however the comments lead me to believe that it is once again the former.


  7. my dad is so much worse than even this. he is a disabled vet and thinks if you have anything less than a sucking chest wound, it ain’t worth his worry…but oh boy when he gets sick watch out! my mom and him had the stomach flu at the same time and she passed out into the bathtub while sitting on the toilet w/ a trash can at her feet and he said she was pitiful for ‘falling asleep’ while being on the toilet. when she explained to him what really happened he told her it was ‘so easy for her to throw up’ and she should try having to deal w/ what he was going thru.

    growing up w/ my dad has certainly ruined any chance of me having sympathy for my husband tho.


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