Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

Motivational Speakers, Not Teachers, are True Educators

This week, a high school in Texas, Richardson High School, finally took the bull by the horns and decided to take a break from worthless bullshit like English and Math and focus on teaching a lesson with some actual value, courtesy of a man by the name of Justin Lookadoo. 1B_300x300Many may call him just a motivational speaker, but one look at his hair and you can just tell he is selling himself short, and once you hear his message to today’s youth, you know that he is so much more.  Justin Lookadoo has the answers to the problems that plague our society. If you’ve ever looked around and thought the world was going to hell in a handbasket and asked yourself, “why”, look no further. Justin here knows that if there is going to be any change in the world, you gotta start with the kids and that is where he has, smartly, chosen to focus his energy and his wisdom.  I’m so tired of everyone asking my kids about how they like school or their favorite subject. I don’t want my kids concerning themselves with trivial horseshit like grammar or scientific theory; intellectual pursuits are just pretentious. There I said it. When all is said and done and the shit really hits the fan, fuck intelligence. What really matters is their relationship potential. I want them to ask themselves Justin’s question, “Are you DATEABLE“. Thankfully for our kids, especially our daughters, Justin has outlined some basic rules in his books and WEBSITE, which explain how “dateable” girls and boys act and interact.

DATEABLE GIRLS RULES:

Accept your girly-ness. You’re a girl. Be proud of all that means. You are soft, you are gentle, you are a woman. Don’t try to be a guy. Guys like you because you are different from them. So let your girly-ness soar.

I’m just glad someone finally said it. I, for one, am sick and fucking tired of girls trying  to be guys by doing shit like wearing blue or pants or using hammers and screwdrivers, changing tires and excelling at math and science. When a girl doesn’t like pink or wants to talk about politics, rather than how she likes to wear her hair, I want to reach down and do a dick check. Start making a list of names for your future cats.

Girls don’t fight girls, ever. Revenge belongs to God. Dateable girls know that when they fight other girls they look stupid and catty, and guys don’t like it any more than God does.

It’s seems more and more that girls are less and less concerned about what everyone else thinks, and, especially, how guys are perceiving their behavior. It’s appalling. I have even heard parents telling their daughters the reasons to avoid fights is shit like, “there are better ways to solve a problem” or “it could lead to some pretty major, long-term, consequences like suspension or even jail” but, WHO THE FUCK CARES?!? If the possibility of fucking up their dateablility won’t keep them on the straight and narrow, you might as well let go of any hope for future grandchildren right now.

Be mysterious. Dateable girls know how to shut up. They don’t monopolize the conversation. They don’t tell everyone everything about themselves. They save some for later. They listen more than they gab.

I’d just like to know when girls started thinking that boys wanted them to participate in a conversation? Who started this rumor? It’s almost like girls these days view themselves as persons and think that an interested boy will find any intrinsic value in intelligence or personality, as if they believe they hold any personal value, much less have anything relevant she could possibly have to contribute within a conversation with one equipped with a penis. It’s just ree-fucking-diculous that this even has to be explained. You’ve got a vagina and a mouth. The boys are interested in one of your holes, but it won’t last long if you can’t keep the other hole closed, Chatty Cathy.

Let him lead. God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys. Which means they don’t ask him out!!!

God MADE guys leaders. Leadership is divinely built into them.  Women are not. We weren’t provided the characteristics of leadership. God wanted men to lead and women to follow. Which is why girls must learn to ALLOW guys to do all the important, leadery things. Dateable girls don’t try to do manly, leader things like opening doors or condiments. Oh, you can open your own ketchup? So, are you just a regular bitch or a lesbian bitch? Either way, you are undateable but if you are the latter, Justin has some summer camp suggestions for your parents to look into.
I admit, I ‘ve faltered on this one. I have a jar opener thingamajiggy doohickey mounted under one of my cabinets but I am uninstalling it immediately after this reminder. I’m riddled with guilt just thinking of all these years that I’ve inadvertently emasculated my husband one screw lid at a time. I only hope he can find it in his heart to forgive me.

Obviously, it goes without saying that only sluts and whores ask a guy out. First, it involves talking and second it is acting like a leader and if don’t have a hog in your pants, you can’t lead. Stand back and look like a quiet, weak girl who hates homosexuals and ketchup and loves Jesus and fornication.

Need him. Dateable girls know that guys need to be needed. A Dateable girl isn’t Miss Independent. She knows we are made for community. Needing each other is part of faith. She allows him to be needed at times, knowing he was called to serve just as much as she was.

I can only hope that my daughter is lucky enough to attract the attention of boys that are insecure, weak, and self-centered, requiring her to stifle her own personality,  silence her voice, allowing herself to be subjugated to appease and coddle his fragile ego.

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DATEABLE GUY RULES:

Being a guy is good. Dateable guys know they aren’t as sensitive as girls and that’s okay. They know they are stronger, more dangerous, and more adventurous and that’s okay. Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys.

Dateable guys are manly men. They don’t do girly things like giving a fuck about shit, except danger and adventure or dangerous adventures. They’re only good at two things: fucking bitches and fucking shit up.

Control your mind. Dateable guys know that God demands self-control. They learn ways to control their minds so they can control their bodies.

In other words, don’t masturbate. Dateable guys don’t have vaginas, and that includes hand-ginas.

Don’t just want a win, want an adventure. Dateable guys know life is about danger. You might not win, but that’s not the point, doing it is. Dateable guys risk failure to live the adventure of life.

Dateable guys know that dateable girls love, love, love guys that are unpredictable, reckless, irresponsible, fly by the seat of the pants, kind of guys. Live on the edge. Jump out of planes, play Russian roulette and don’t balance your checkbook. Bitches will be lining up.

Men of God are wild, not domesticated. Dateable guys aren’t tamed. They don’t live by the rules of the opposite sex. They fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed.

Real men don’t follow rules. As a matter of fact, any guy that even bothers to read his list of rules should turn off the Cher album and just go sign themselves up for straight camp because you just failed the REAL MAN test you didn’t even know you were taking.

Keep it covered up. Dateable guys know that porn is bad for the spirit and the mind. They keep women covered up.

If a girl won’t cover up, dateable guys call her a “slut” or “whore”, in hopes of shaming her into their standard of modesty. It’s important for girls to know that they are responsible for keeping guys’ thoughts and acts pure and to ensure that they do nothing that could cause a guy to give her a starring role in a mental porn scene.

If you want to find out about your own dateability, boys and girls, Justin has provided a quiz:  untitledSPOILER ALERT, LADIES: If you answer “yes” to any of your questions, you can start your cat collection now. ansNow, for those of you looking at the guys’ quiz, you might think those last few questions would be correctly answered by saying you HAVE both agreed to physical limits and that he DOESN’T push the physical boundaries and absolve himself of responsibility or self-control, and disagreed with the “if she loved me, she will” ideology, but you’d be wrong. The only people who wouldn’t get that are whiny, weak, ketchup craving lady babies. Guys have dicks, man. That is what makes guys better. We girls are made to be like an otterbox for a dick. A cock cozy, essentially. Dudes are always down to fuck. They want to—nay, NEED to dip their wicks. Luckily, girls don’t have any sexual urges or desires, so it is up to us to try to keep ourselves and boys virtuous, both in thought and action, but also remain dateable by letting them do stuff like rub your boobs or, if you really love him or he is super popular or really hot, at least finger bang you. Guys won’t go to hell for fornicating, only masturbating, so they can get in where they fit in and be fine.

Girls need guys and guys want girls, but not for conversation or companionship. Mostly for a place to stick their dicks.  It just is what it is, so accept it. Be girly and stop trying to be guys by opening shit. You stand at the door and wait for a man to come open it. You eat your goddamn burger dry or wait for a fucking guy to come open that bottle. Put on some lip gloss and shut your fucking mouth. Your interests, your opinions, even any life threatening allergy is of no interest to real men.  At least none that you should be willing to date. When you can make a helicopter with your lady clam, maybe then you’ll understand the special level of wisdom and strength exclusive to guys.

Guys, be strong and tell her whose boss. Girls love it when you tell them to “shut the fuck up” or cancel plans at the last-minute or hit on other girls when you are out with them. It shows you are a dangerous, desirable man and drives girls wild. If a girl won’t put out, tell her that if she loves you, she would and make her realize how lucky she is to have you by cheating on her, so she knows that if she won’t give it up, you’ll find a girl who will. And, of course, first and foremost, treat girls with respect. sexist

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE CONTACTING YOUR PTA TO DEMAND THEY BRING JUSTIN TO MOTIVATE YOUR KIDS!

Author:

I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

36 thoughts on “Motivational Speakers, Not Teachers, are True Educators

  1. Yeah, this Lookadoo guy makes sense. As a teacher, I’ll be recommending we get him booked in at school at the earliest opportunity. We need his kind of forward thinking in the UK.

    Your writing cracks me up.
    “The boys are interested in one of your holes, but it won’t last long if you can’t keep the other hole closed, Chatty Cathy.”
    My little girl’s only 12-and-a-half months old but I have bought her a subscription to VFTC. Required reading!

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      1. You know, it is so bad, I really just want to ignore it, and think that it doesn’t really affect me. Why should I care, right?

        But this weekend I am going to my sister’s baby shower. She’ll be having a baby girl in Jan.

        Boy or girl, I can’t imagine any child being subjected to those ideas – at any age! And during class time? It is just appalling. I can only do my best to expose those blatant sexist ideas for what they are (oppressive bullshit) by educating myself and therefore my sister.

        So even though the excerpts you posted seared a swath of destruction across my retinas, I thank you. For the sake of my unborn niece, I can’t just ignore it.

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        1. Then I feel like I’m doing something right. 😉 Your niece will be at an advantage so long as those close to her have their eyes wide open, because she will also learn to be aware of it and less willing to blindly accept such treatment and conditions, like so many others seem to do without realizing that they are, essentially, teaching their daughters that they aren’t really worthy of respect or even autonomy.

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  2. Have you seen this? A military personnel requesting leave for a baby shower… the response to his request is an automatic head shake, and how he came back to it is pretty damn awesome.

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  3. What the hell were they thinking? The one good thing (and there may be more good things) to come of this is the students of RHS taking him on…. a quote from one of the girls…. this is empowerment:

    The DMN’s Jacquielynn Floyd has a column on the topic today. And it’s a good one. But I’d like to direct you also to a blog post. Author identifies herself as Aisleen Menezes, a junior at RHS. She does a passionate, civil and detailed analysis of Lookadoo’s actual presentation that is hard to beat. She recorded the entire presentation and her quotes are taken from her recording, she writes. Here’s a nugget:

    The most angering and raging factor is the overuse of stereotypes and generalizations in his presentation, to try and prove his “points” and keep his audience “engaged.” He attempted to use a stereotypical Black woman’s voice to mock the female Black American demographic (this voice was used only when something was glaringly evident) and used hasty generalizations about teenagers and teenage relationships, such as “teenage girls physically give into relationships because they want to save them” or because “they’re lowering their standards” and “as soon as a relationship becomes physical, all of “his friends know.” Scaring girls away as a method of encouraging abstinence? Fantastic. How about proper sex education instead? But of course, “If you’ll do it with that idiot, you’ll do it with him.”

    Now, on to more about relationships, or so we hope: “Ladies, I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible….you are the most horrible, awful, vindictive creatures this planet has ever seen.”

    Combining sexism and humor? Wonderful.

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    1. I agree. I was horrified reading the story of what was said in this school but when I read about the student’s confronting him and calling him out after the assembly, I must say, I was pretty proud of those kids. I know he has been continued to be called out by the students on twitter and facebook and he seems to see nothing wrong.

      One of my friends shared this quote, from this douche, yesterday: “”Dress for your body. Get clothes that work with what you’ve got. But know that if you go too tight, too short, or too low-cut, you are no longer a person to get to know but an object to use.”

      Every time someone sends me some more of his material or his words, I get stabby.

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  4. Wow! Is this guy married, he sounds like my ideal man…
    BUT if I can’t make the first move, what can I do?
    I’ve tried looking forlorn in The Golden Arches, with a ketchup less burger and a tricky to open bottle, but that didn’t work.
    What should I do next!

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      1. That’s a great idea!
        Do you think he’ll guess I just want him for his body?
        (Oh…..does it matter that I’m married d’you think….?)

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  5. You know, I’m a Christian but this guy gives all Christians a bad name. What a f-ing idiot. Through his “ideals” he totally insulted my 6 year old niece who happens to LOVE super heroes and wants nothing to do with Disney Princess. She’s not the typical girl so that means she will never be dateable. She loves to talk to boys, play with boys and roll in the dirt. She plays sports, takes tae-kwan-do and loves going to football games.

    And apparently my husband is not a “real” man because he masturbates. Jesus, this guy really struck a nerve with me.

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  6. You forgot to mention that sex isn’t supposed to be an egalitarian pleasuring party, per Doug Wilson, pastor extraordinaire. So any man who actually cares about a woman enjoying herself in AND out of the bedroom is undateable. Period.

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