Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

How Did You Find My Blog?

Here are some of my favorite search queries that have led people to my blog. They are funny and disturbing.


1) Footballs in vaginas – Ouch! Why? I bet half of you are just curious enough to go look for videos.

2) Fuck whole world – Bad day? This blog could make it better or worse!

3) underwear with penis on inside – is there underwear with penis on the outside?

4) little kids dick – Ummm–disturbing.

5) Caillou cake ideas – Ha! I doubt this person liked my opinion of Caillou. If I made a Caillou cake, it would only be so I could stick in a knife.

6) slut tips – That would have all been archived in my pre-mommy blog.

7) penis covered in glitter – it still won’t be pretty. I promise.

8) vagina doorbell – how I feel about this depends on if we are talking about a vagina for one’s door or a bell for one’s vagina.

9) if you fuck a girl in her ass can it hurt her – I feel sorry for the girl with the person responsible for this search.

10) hot sexy mermaids touching there boobs naked – I know! Can you believe the grammar error?

11) fb status getting so weird dat dat day is nt far wen people will update dat they r fucking – I need my decoder ring but I think this person may be trying to make a good point.

12) can i get a humorous story using these following word’s? sarcastic, laughable, mocking, hysterical, cute, amusing, outburst, titter, groan, and smile? – This may be one of my favorites. Though, I can swear that I have never used the word ‘titter’.


This is just a glimpse of what search terms people use that land them here. Look for this to be a series. I don’t understand how most of these searches result in this website but they do, which gives me a vivid glimpse of what kind of crazy is out there!


I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

22 thoughts on “How Did You Find My Blog?

  1. LMAO!

    Now i wish i had some crazy story about how i found your blog. Basically someone, somewhere (fb? twitter? idk) posted a link to your “you didn’t thank me for punching you in the face’ entry, and here i was.


    1. That’s how I found the blog. My daughter, one of her friends, and two nieces sent me that link, too. I laughed, I cried, it was better than “Cats”.


  2. how i found your blog was neither crazy or exciting, a FB friend posted it and thought i might be interested. i was, you have an awesome sight, and as disturbing as some of the searches/searchers are, i laughed again!


    1. That was my first thought but given the other search terms listed, it gives me just enough doubt. The ones I listed were the tame ones. Some really sick shit leads people to this blog. *blush*


  3. Hilarious! I hope from now on you are the #1 ‘titter’ hit. And men are so predictable…though more specific than I would have thought! Why limit the hot sexy mermaids only to those touching their boobs naked?


  4. My favorite part of the day is checking my search queries. I feel kind of sorry for the people who get to my site via their borderline psychopath search terms. Not only are they insane, but my blog holds nothing for them.


  5. Some of my searches are just so bizarre, but some of them are just sick. Too often some sick person finds my blog searching for things involving daddies and disgusting acts with little girls. I hate to be a part of that. On a lighter note I seem to be a landing point for hairy fat daddies. Awesome.


  6. Every so often I get a particularly poignant search leading someone to my blog. I say “poignant” because I can immediately tell that they didn’t find what they were looking for. And every once in a while, because of my great love for humanity and my deep-seated desire to help the less fortunate among us, I decide to address the subject of their search. As, for example, with the person who was searching for spider bondage sexy art (surprisingly, this is probably safe for work).

    It’s like the big robot says: “See a need, fill a need.”


  7. I work for a company that does SEO (search engine optimization– how your key words rank on Google/Yahoo!/etc) and what I’ve learned is that if you’re being found for those kind of key words then that means someone has your website linked on their site to those specific words. So you may want to see if you can track your website links to see what sick sites it’s on!!


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