Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

The Mommy Wars on the Front Page

If you haven’t seen the latest cover of Time Magazine, you must be living under a rock. The title says it all: “Are You Mom Enough?” And just like that, the ‘Mommy Wars’ are in full effect on every social network. The picture, of course, has proven to be very polarizing, which, by the photographers own admission, was the intent. The reactions have run the gamut from applause to complete indignation and disgust.  I’ve even read people equating it to child pornography and saying it borders on sexual abuse.

Well played, Time Magazine. Well played. Inflaming the mommy wars is going to sell a shit ton of magazines.

Since I have only read excerpts of the article, I am going to focus on what has proven to be the most controversial aspect of this issue: the cover.

First of all, since I have read some people assuming otherwise, this IS a mother and her own son. Second, the child is 3 years old, not an adult.  Get a grip, people! This is not earth shattering. This is not pornographic. Don’t take the bait, mothers. Don’t turn on each other.

I breastfed all four of my children. Number One was breastfed for a whopping six weeks before I switched to formula, thanks to an uneducated doctor that convinced me that I was not producing enough milk, since she wanted to nurse more frequently than every two-three hours.  That dumbass.  Number Two was breastfed for just under a year . Number Three breastfed for almost two years, when he self weaned and I plan on nursing Number Four for at least as long, longer if he wants. As mothers, we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. You didn’t breastfeed at all, you didn’t breastfeed for long enough or you breastfed for too long. You can’t win! Sadly enough, the harshest critics of mothers, aside from the mother herself, is other mothers.

This cover pisses me off. I am not annoyed for the same reason as a large percentage of the general public, who find this offensive simply because it shows a breastfeeding toddler. I could picture so many of the responders to this picture, clutching their hearts, aghast and fanning themselves before fainting.  What I find off putting about this picture is that it is cold. It doesn’t give a hint of the bond between a mother and her child. The photographer has admitted that the shot was set up this way in order to make it seem awkward. He said he wanted it to appear uncommon. There was an alternative shot of the mother sitting on a stool and cradling her son, who appears to be asleep as he nurses. The magazine also shows pictures of several other women nursing their toddlers and even tandem nursing a toddler and baby.  Obviously,’Time’ is in the business of selling magazines and making money and nothing does that better than kicking up a little shit storm. Inciting the mommy wars will do just that.

I want to address some of the statements that have been made in response to this cover story.

1) Breast feeding has no benefit after the first (insert arbitrary age, usually  6 months or 1 year): Bullshit.  The benefits of breastfeeding don’t suddenly become null and void when the child reaches a certain age. Breast milk is constantly changing to meet the specific needs of your child. If your child is premature, your milk is tailored to suit the needs of your preemie. When your child is 6 months old, two years old or just sick, your milk is customized to meet his/her specific needs. If breastfeeding beyond teething is not your cup of tea, you’ll get no judgement from me.

2) Once they can ask for it, it’s time to quit: Why? My 5-month old “asks” to nurse. He cries or he tugs at my shirt. Sometimes, he pushes himself into nursing position and opens his mouth. When Number Three was nursing, he would walk up to me and climb on my lap, pull on my shirt and ask for “beebee”.  Newsflash: being able to communicate and/or walk does not negate the benefits of breast feeding.

3) I wouldn’t want my children seeing this picture!: ZOHMAHGAWD! It’s a boob profile!! You absolutely MUST protect your children from seeing a child nursing. It could damage them for life to see this picture. Funny how no one bats an eyelash over the fact that children are exposed to sexualized images of the breast on a daily basis. Just while standing in the check out line of the grocery store, your child is exposed to images like:

These women are showing as much, if not more, breast than the woman on Time, plus a whole lot more skin but this doesn’t ring anyone’s bells. If you were to attach a child to any of the breasts on the above pics, though, outrage would ensue.

4) They must get something sexual out of it: If you see a nursing child and it reminds you of pornography, you need to seek professional help. Immediately.

5) It’s not natural. Even animals wean their young after a month or two:  Actually, animals nurse their young a lot longer than most people think. People often think of kittens and puppies that are often weaned between 6-8 weeks of age. What they don’t seem to realize is that they are forcibly weaned because they are removed from their mother. If permitted, they would continue to nurse for quite a while longer. This article gives an anthropologist’s explanation of the natural age of weaning.

Like I said, if you choose not to breastfeed past one day or 6 months, that is your prerogative. I won’t think you love your child any less.  Don’t judge me for extended breastfeeding or insinuate that my choice to do so is rooted in incest. All of you working moms that pump, my hat is off to you! I don’t know how you do it, honestly. If you cloth diaper, I applaud you! I tried it and lasted a whole two weeks because laundry is my nemesis and I couldn’t reconcile that relationship with laundry to make cloth diapering work out.

The bottom line is, why can’t we be supportive of other mothers instead of looking for reasons to tear each other down. If you choose formula, I won’t think less of you. I won’t judge you because of your baby wearing stance. I won’t think you love your child any less based on whether or not you co-sleep. I won’t ever say another mother isn’t “MOM ENOUGH” because she made a different parenting choice. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I will never judge another mother. Being a parent obviously doesn’t give one Carte Blanche to do whatever they wish to their child. Abusing or neglecting your child is not a valid choice that anyone should respect, obviously. If you make the choice to knowingly and willfully harm a child, physically or psychologically, I will judge the fuck out of you.

Author:

I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

62 thoughts on “The Mommy Wars on the Front Page

  1. Have I mentione dhow much I love your blog?! Beautiful post! It’s disheartening that mothers are the ones who turn on each other. Last time I checked the instruction booklet didn’t come with any of my kids….and I’m pretty sure they didn’t come with anyone elses, so there is no “right” way. It’s time for everyone to do what’s best for their child and stop focussing on what they think is best for everyone elses child.

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  2. Frankly, I was living under a rock…hadn’t seen this. Wish I hadn’t still. Don’t particularly care for the other magazine covers either, the one barely has bottoms on! Feel the same way about breast feeding as I do other private situations, they don’t belong on magazine covers. Breast feeding is a private, tender time between babes and their mom. And whether or not to do so and for how long is a private decision.

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    1. “Breastfeeding is a private act…” Why? Who said? I don’t eat in private and no one things a baby with a bottle is a private act so why breastfeeding? I nursed 4 babies and was told to go in the restroom to do that by friends, stores and others. NO! No one else eats in the toilet and my babies didn’t either.

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    2. Whoa, time out! Vicki, you stand in this corner. Couch Queen: over there. You both have valid points of view – I can see and even agree with both of them. So, may I humbly suggest we not start another “mommy war” over whether nursing time is private time, or is not.

      I agree with Couch Queen in that, in an ideal culture, there’d be no reason to think of nursing as private. I think of other cultures in the so-called “developing countries,” and hell, no, it’s not private. The moms all hang out together, nursing the kids, and I bet they even chat and gossip. The relationship between mom and babe is private, and intimate – but others witnessing it does not change that. That is because those people have the maturity to grant privacy to each other in public (more on that concept later).

      But then there is our culture – totally dysfunctional, weird and puritanical. Sure, it’s legal to nurse in public, but do so, and be prepared for judgmental passersby, disapproving stares, curious, fascinated trying-not-to-stare (me, and probably some blushing males who don’t want to seem like sleazes) and the occasional misguided store manager or security guard, who wants you to disappear and lets you know about it.

      Some women are up for this. Couch Queen has that bold, in-your-face, you-can-kiss-my-butt-if-you-don’t -approve personality, and presumably she can nurse comfortably, while defying all the nonsense, at the same time. But then, there are women with different personalities. Shy, raised to be modest, perhaps, disliking the spotlight – but most importantly, unable to relax in such an environment. Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you’re tense, you have a more difficult time making milk, yes?

      So, I can imagine why someone like Vicki might want to retreat to an isolated space to nurse, to preserve the privacy of the relationship – because the public insists on violating it.

      That privacy-in-public thing – we do practice it in this culture, in other ways. We don’t stare at strangers while they go about other sorts of private business in public. We don’t expect to be stared at when we and our kids dine on solid food in a restaurant. Men don’t look at each others’ winkies while peeing in the urinals. We don’t eavesdrop, or at least pretend we aren’t listening to others’ conversations, and we stand back from the pharmaceutical counter while someone else picks up an Rx. Someone farts out loud, we pretend we’re deaf, even if it was loud enough to hear in the next county. But sit down and nurse in public, and all of a sudden, you’re a performance artist.

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      1. I wasn’t angry when I responded. I was simply asking if feeding a child was a private act or if it was just the act of breastfeeding. No need to send anyone to opposite corners.

        I was raised to be modest. I am not a flaunter, even when nursing. The only time I don’t use a nursing cover in public is when I forget one, in which case I will try to find a secluded corner or dressing room to nurse. As my nursers have gotten older, they have pulled the covers off. A lot of times, the cover draws more attention. Most people cannot even tell I am nursing when I don’t use a cover, it just looks as if I am holding my sleeping child. I do not take these measures (covering up) to protect the delicate sensibilities of those that would be offended by the mere sight of breastfeeding child. I take these measures because it is how *I* am comfortable. Because, whether you use a cover or not, you are going to get stared at, you are going to get disapproving looks, someone is going to say “do that in the bathroom”. You can’t win. On the other end of the spectrum, I have heard bottle feeding mothers talk about how they have been confronted for not breastfeeding. Despite the fact that some of these mothers were giving their child a bottle of breast milk. Judgments and assumptions are the common denominator. A breast feeding mother must be an attention whore or a pervert. A bottle feeding mother is not dedicated or not educated enough.
        My priority is my child. When my child is hungry, I am going to feed him. I won’t deprive my child out of fear that someone with irrational hang ups is going to be offended.

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        1. Exactly! It is you who needs to be comfortable. And ain’t it the truth? You can’t win. Seems a common theme for us women in general, doesn’t it?

          I’m not a mom, but I have this thing about shaming nursing moms. My mom was too stressed out to have milk for me, so I missed out. Formula being for-shit in the early 1960s, I now have multiple food sensitivities, and GI troubles since teenage years. Hell, maybe I can even blame the autism on it. Stands to reason – the emotional attachment problems, the skin-hunger, yet at the same time shrinking away from mom’s hugs, so who know?

          Sorry about my opening comment. It was meant more or less tongue-in-cheek. My weird sense of humor gets out of control sometimes.

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  3. Interesting that they chose such a large toddler, one that looks older, eh?

    I nursed my oldest until he nearly 3, but he was such a tiny guy, I didn’t get much grief. Youngest was almost 2 when I began forcibly weaning him because I needed to sleep at night. He was recently sick and asked for “Otays”. I didn’t have any otay for him and told him so (and held him), but clearly the impetus to ASK was because he was SICK – he knew what would make him feel better.

    I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t do extended nursing. I had to supplement and pump and all kinds of craziness. If my eldest hadn’t been so determined to nurse, I wouldn’t have managed well later. If I’d been 22, I don’t think I’d have pulled it off either. And I don’t judge people for not being me.

    People are funny.

    Right now, Time Magazine looks to me like the guy that intentionally drops information to sit up a fight. Yes, that sells, but it’s a crass way to do it.

    Loved this post.

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  4. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head and pointing out to me why I found that photo so unpleasant…I couldn’t put my finger on why, but as you rightly pointed out it’s the coldness of it…the lack of bond between the mother and child makes it a bit creepy. The most assholian comment I’ve read on this photo so far went something like this “I don’t object to women breast feeding but I’m kinda uncomfortable with it in public places like restaraunts. I mean after all, you wouldn’t want to try and eat while seeing the bird hanging outta a man’s pants would you?” The most amazing thing about that comment is that someone who is such a dumb fuck has kept himself alive long enough to make that comment.

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  5. I really think American’s have a problem with interfering in how everyone else lives! If it’s not how to raise your kids, it’s who you’re even allowed to have kids with! Why can’t we all just mind our own fucking business?!?! As long as the kid turns out healthy and isn’t being hurt or stunted, what difference does it make??? I seriously hate everyone who thinks their way is God’s way and eveyrone else is going to hell for differing.

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    1. So true, Niseyrae. Not to mention when to have, whether, how many, and even sticking their bit, fat noses into the most private and heart-rending of decisions, such as whether to abort a fetus with developmental issues likely to doom him to a shitty, painful existence…to the point of making laws! Argh!

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  6. I breastfed my 2nd until she was 5. It was at bed time… it was probaby 2 or 3 times a week. When she turned 5 and ready for school we evolved out of it naturally. I did feel the scorn but I wasn’t publicly making my way to acceptance for this but of course there were those who found out. The horror. My story though… I remember when she was 2 I told a social worker (we were looking to adopt our 3rd child after 2 biological children) She looked at me aghast “oh I couldn’t do THAT!” Like I asked her to? Then later she looked at me like she was disgusted and asked me a number of really really ridiculous questions. “does she eat or this exclusive” (she met my ample 2 year old at one point so this question was odd to me and I really didn’t think much of it until later I realized how baited I was for her later attempt to have me banned from ever parenting another child)… then she went on to ask me about how sex is with my husband (again it didn’t hit me until later what she was suggesting). I wasn’t alone in this practice. I knew other women who breast fed I was part of a cooperative of women who promoted breast feeding… some I can imagine doing a picture like the one on Time. Most of us just want to be left alone to parent in peace.

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  7. Why should mothers have to retreat to filthy places like bathrooms to feed their children? Breasts are for feeding babies, not selling beer and magazines. Jaysus people…they’re just boobs. Breastfeeding is not a sexual fetish; it’s nourishment for the body and nurturing for the soul. It’s just a damn shame that hundreds of generations of breastfeeding knowledge was wiped out in just one or two generations because of ignorance and corporate greed (i.e., Nestle).

    I’m not hating on formula itself, per se–thank gawd formula was invented! I’m hating on the ZOMG TITS!!! and re-ignition of the mommy wars. Who cares how/where someone chooses to feed their child? You don’t like boobs, don’t stare, and keep your opinions to yourself. People who stare and make a big fuckin’ deal out of a breastfeeding mother are saying far more about themselves than the mother they’re attacking. It’s NOT a private act. It’s a baby eating. Get over yourself. Gah!

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  8. I have been reading this same opinion echoed across the internet about this cover. First, let me say that thanks to hubby’s useless air mileage points on an airline he no longer uses, we are now subscribers to TIME magazine, As soon as our copy of “the issue” came, I tore through it to get to the article. I can tell you that the article has very little to do with the article, other than the fact that it looks at the idea of attachment parenting and has a nice interview with Dr. Sears.

    So, I will focus on what is the focus of everyone… the cover. What I don’t understand is why so many pro-breastfeeding mammas are against this cover. I keep hearing that it “looks cold” or it “doesn’t send the right message”. Well, I say who gives a shit how she nurses? If she wants to stand on her head and nurse I don’t care. Who am I to stand up and scream, “What I am doing is not a lewd act!” when I nurse my 3 month old, yet turn around and tell this mom, “You’re not doing it right”.

    Frankly, it makes me sick that this has made EVERYONE, the pro-breastfeeders and con-breastfeeders, so upset. Everyone has a problem with this cover, and the fact is, no one should care. Yes, the mother is ridiculously beautiful. Yes, the child is standing on a chair. SO WHAT??? How can we all sit here and say “Let parents parent the way they want to” and at the same time say, “except this mom.” Well, this cover does nothing for me. I am not mad. I am not upset. I am not anything other than wondering what the big damn deal is all about.

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    1. First of all, I am, in no way, shaming this mother. I applaud her. This, however, isn’t how she breastfeeds her son, something she has explained in interviews. The picture was intended to alienate the audience. It is not an honest portrayal of the breastfeeding relationship between this mother and her child or just in general. Obviously, Time is in the business of selling magazines not promoting breast feeding. I’m not saying that they have a moral obligation to accurately portray the breastfeeding relationship, either. Being on the receiving end of comments or questions that insinuate that you are some sort of pervert or deviant because you are STILL breastfeeding, though, I reserve the right to find the implications of the photo and the willful ignorance of the general public that has responded with statements, such as those I addressed, to be worthy of my indignation.

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  9. Maybe we should stop calling them ‘boobs’, ‘tits’ or even breasts, and just call them nursers from the get go. People may be more comfortable with nursing if there was an innate, subconscious understanding that they are functioning as they were meant to. “Yes, my nursers are now being used for nursing. How wonderful!”

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  10. I love your blog. I LOVE this post. Agree 100% & also agree with ^^^ I admit I still feel like I suck at being a parent in my weakest moments and I rock it out when they’re being angels. To each their own. We’ve always been told every child is different so why would we parent them all the same? Makes sense to have variations.

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  11. My grown up kids make me I’m a veteran of the Mommy Wars, the longest lasting conflict in our nation’s history. Even the Hatfields and McCoys have called a truce. I’m shocked by the magazine cover, because it is so obviously designed to provoke controversy. “Are you MOM ENOUGH?”, followed by, “Why attachment parenting is driving some parents to extremes.” What the fuck? Who gets to decide what mom enough means or to define extreme parenting? It’s the same old shit wrapped in a contrived photo package, courtesy of TIME. Don’t fall for it. Don’t let it make you feel smug or inadequate, judgmental of other moms or guilty about how you feed/fed your little ones. If you are a young person, don’t make snap judgements. Your first reaction to seeing this photo will probably be negative, but your ideas about motherhood will change and evolve. You honestly think you will know what you will do or not do as a parent; trust me, these ideas fly out the window when you hold that baby for the first time. Your heart, mind, and innate sense of what is right for your child will grow as fast as he or she does.

    Now, please don’t get me started on NEWSWEEK’s upcoming issue cover of President Obama as “America’s First Gay President.” I’m giving up on the media except for actual news by real reporters. Or maybe I’ll stick with fake news like The Daily Show.

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  12. Rock on sister. Rock on. The only comment I ever got while nursing my baby was from a New Yorker 50ish year old man in Denny’s (and I used a hooter hider, and this was Arizona) who applauded me and said to not let anyone give me a hard time. I have sort of a “don’t fuck with me” aura about me, though, so I imagine this is why. I never pumped in a bathroom, I never nursed in a bathroom. And anyone who says you should, I recommend they go make their sandwich in the bathroom and eat it there.

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    1. Ha! I’ve told people that I don’t like going to the bathroom in a public bathroom but that they are more than welcome to go eat their meal in there if they find it so comfortable.

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    2. when i tried to pre-plan w/ my boss at work about where i was going to pump when i returned to work she tried to tell me i had to go in the bathroom…i told her that we should set up a salad bar in there too and see how quickly she ran in there to get her lunch! i also printed out the federally mandated guidelines for workplace pumping and provided those to her…she has been on my a$$ ever since trying to find things to use against me.

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  13. People often say they “agree with you 100%” when they don’t necessarily mean it literally…and I seldom agree literally 100% with anything, so…when I say I agree with your blog entry today, 100%, it is one of those rare times.

    I’ve read several message boards about this magazine cover, and everything you say about the reactions is true. Another issue that came out…several people remarked that the 3-year-old’s privacy had been violated by portraying him in this controversial pose, that he had been exploited for the sake of sensationalism, while too young to know the potential consequences. If nothing else, he dare not show his face in a public school now…esp. middle school. I have to say, there is merit in that concern.

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  14. I will say that in my opinion three years old is a bit old to be nursing but he is still young enough for the bonding to not start crossing over into co-dependency and I do think at a certain age (varied by each child) that happens if breastfed too long for many children. However, I will also admit that I tried breastfeeding and couldn’t so my experience with such is minimal at best. I would have loved to continue breast feeding my son, even now at 10 months, for all benefits involved: mother’s immunity, bonding, saving time and money, etc. Sadly, my body decided to suddenly stop producing and nothing I did could slow that effect or reverse it. Maybe this means I’m being judgmental, maybe not. I just think we are supposed to stop breast feeding when we have all our teeth because we’re biologically ready for a varied diet and no longer need to rely solely upon the mother for nutrients.

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    1. Three is most definitely not too old to nurse, as long as both mother and child are willing. The WHO recommends for AT LEAST two years and then for as long as it is mutually desired by mother and the child. A one year old, two year old or three year old is not relying solely on the mother for nutrition. They are eating solid food, as well. In the toddler years, most nursing occurs before naps or bedtime and when the child is sick or hurt. A lot of research indicates that many of the greatest benefits to the child’s immune system from nursing occurs after the first and second year.
      The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years of age are at increased risk of illness (AAFP 2008).

      Breastfeeding toddlers between the ages of one and three have been found to have fewer illnesses, illnesses of shorter duration, and lower mortality rates (Mølbak 1994, van den Bogaard 1991, Gulick 1986).

      “Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation” (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Lawrence & Lawrence 2011, Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).

      Per the World Health Organization, “a modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under five: Breastfeeding plays an essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness.” [emphasis added]

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      1. I realize the many benefits of breast feeding, which is the main reason I wanted to do so with my own son. I even agree that nursing up until age 2 is sound advice, especially when confronted with sick children younger than that (as I am at the moment) that are too young to take most OTC medicines. Breast milk would help relieve the symptoms and probably help their little bodies fight off whatever it is their dealing with sooner. I did not mean to imply that toddlers receive their nutrition solely from their mother when breast feeding, only that there’s no longer a need for it. Whatever nutrients they were deriving from the milk, they’re able to obtain for themselves through digesting solid foods. In fact, they would receive said nutrients in larger quantities seeing as they’re not getting it filtered through someone else.

        I also understand the desire to continue bonding with your children for as long as possible, but as someone who simply couldn’t breastfed I can honestly say that my son and I aren’t any less bonded than others. We get plenty of bonding time in. We cuddle and play during the day. I read him stories, etc. My point is that there are other ways to bond, and one is not better or more effective than the other. In fact, my son is such a Momma’s boy already, it’s sort of funny.

        I really don’t particularly care how or for how long a woman breastfeeds. It was my opinion, my personal preference even, and something I probably would have stopped before the age of 3 had I the option. My real problem was with the photo. Aside for it being there for the sole purpose of being a shit starter, it is as you stated- it seems cold. It lacks the warmth of mother and child relationships and seems a rather callous way of looking at this particular issue.

        Melinda asked why it mattered how the mother breastfeeds, but I don’t think it’s that women find the mother herself cold but rather that the photo was staged to look a specific way to elicit a visceral response rather than a logical one.

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        1. I only BF my daughter for six weeks and she was being supplemented the whole time because I relied on doctor that didn’t know anything about BFing, as it turned out. My daughter and I are bonded. Again, I am not making any judgments on bottle feeding mothers or saying that you, or anyone else isn’t “mom enough”, as the magazine asks. You love your son, you take care of and protect your son and that is what is most important. That is the factor that is going to have the most profound impact on who he becomes.

          If you had asked me six years ago if I would have breastfed past a year, I would have thought you were pretty crazy for even asking. I know I have my own personal limitations too. I just don’t know what they are yet. My third child weaned shortly before turning two and I was willing to continue with him, without hesitation. I am willing to go longer with my youngest son, if he continues past that point but I can’t say that at no point will I want to wean him because of any number of possible reasons. I’ll just cross the bridge when and if I come to it.

          Whatever nutrients they were deriving from the milk, they’re able to obtain for themselves through digesting solid foods. In fact, they would receive said nutrients in larger quantities seeing as they’re not getting it filtered through someone else.
          I don’t want you to think I am picking your response apart, I just think it is important to show the research and facts, in regards to extended breastfeeding, so that others can understand that there is so much more to it than what meets the eye.

          “Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.”
          – Dewey 2001

          In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
          29% of energy requirements
          43% of protein requirements
          36% of calcium requirements
          75% of vitamin A requirements
          76% of folate requirements
          94% of vitamin B12 requirements
          60% of vitamin C requirements

          – Dewey 2001

          The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2012, AAP 2005)

          The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)

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          1. Oh good God, I could not breast feed until seven! LOL

            I do understand what you’re saying, but I’ll stick with my preference and be not-so-secretly jealous of those that get this opportunity and they can go for as long as they want without judgement from me.

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  15. I have a good friend who writes a blog with a mixed bag of topics, including some of her own adventures in motherhood. That TIME cover hit a nerve with her as well. Here’s a link: http://wosushi.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/motherhood-its-not-a-competition/

    You’re post is more in the style of my red-headed best friend who pulls up her soap box to point out the ignorance and injustice in the world. I love her! Watch out world when she becomes a mom. 🙂

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  16. I think people should stay focused on that crazy people who make their kids get fake tans at 9. Also, people should stop complaining about this cover. If they have such a problem with it, don’t ever leave your house, turn on the tv, go on the internet, or go to an art museum. Boobs are everywhere. Stop being scared of them lol.

    Medieval “Virgin and child” painting by Jean Fouquet: http://fuckyeaarthistory.tumblr.com/post/1320922651/jean-fouquet-the-virgin-and-child-surrounded-by

    I applauded the cover when I first saw it. Seriously, what are people complaining about. Breast feeding is new. Great post!

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  17. The fact that they admit the intent of the picture should ring bells with everyone. The media is there to assault us with bullshit and then watch us debate and go at each other.

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  18. I have just stumbled across your blog and after reading quite a few posts, I must say, I fucking love you! Sorry. Had to say it.

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  19. Great post! Exactly! Couldn’t have said it better myself! It is fucking HARD to be a Mum, why do others Mothers make if that much harder by being so judgemental of others? We should support each other, not fucking condemn each other! Good job!

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