The trash can seems to be one of the more confusing household staples for my family. I have no idea why. It seems pretty basic: Use a trash bag to line the receptacle and put trash in trash receptacle. When the trash can is full, remove the bag containing the trash and place on curb on trash day. Repeat. Somehow, one or more of these steps seem to be overlooked by my dear family on a regular basis. I have decided, for their sakes, to elaborate on this subject.
- If you take the last juice box, pack of fruit snacks or pack of popcorn, THROW THE FUCKING BOX AWAY. I am not sure if my family is just lazy or if they are operating under the delusion that a philanthropic group of pantry elves are replenishing the items that they empty. This is something I have to do every. single. day. I don’t know how to make anyone understand that when it is empty, it is EMPTY! When you walk away from the pantry and refrigerator, you walk past the damn trash can! I get that these containers can weigh up to SEVERAL ounces but I think you can manage the extra weight between those 5-7 steps.
- If there isn’t a bag in the trash can, do NOT put trash inside. I know, I know! To walk the 5 steps over to the cabinet, remove a trash bag, shake it open and place inside the trash can can take up to 30 seconds and who has that kind of time? If you could just make a little room in your busy schedules, perhaps between fucking off and fucking off, and take that extra step, it would be so appreciated.
- If you have taken the extra time to replace the trash liner and you notice that others have disregarded the previous rule, why do you insist on pretending like you don’t see the trash lying at the bottom of the unlined can? COME ON! Do me a solid and grab the empty paper cup and fruit snack wrapper and put it inside the trash bag.
- When the trash is full, remove the full bag and replace it with a new trash bag. Do NOT just continue piling trash up to the point of complete overflow. In the time that it took you to carefully balance that empty juice box on top of the mountain of trash protruding from the top of the trash can, you could have just replaced it.
- When you peel a banana, feel free to throw the peel in the trash. Don’t leave it lying on the counter. When you are done with that paper towel, throw it away. This goes for any bit of trash that you are responsible for.
I am out of ideas on how to make this concept easy to understand. Especially, since it seems like such a simple fucking concept without need for such extensive explanation.
Please tell me that I am not the only one.