Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

Stand Up to Bullying—Or Just Stand There and Do Nothing

I had received the letter about a month ago from the school, informing me that “Stand up to Bullying” day was approaching and as a show of solidarity in the anti-bully message, the students were all to wear pink shirts.  The order form for the screen printed pink shirts was attached or students could wear their own pink shirts.  Fine.  No problem.  As the day approached, Number Two was getting very excited and informed me that he needed a pink shirt for “No Bullies” day.  I went to the store and found a simple pink shirt for him to wear and he loved it and couldn’t wait to put it on the next day.  He woke up the following morning and dressed himself in his jeans and new pink shirt and proudly headed into the school.  That afternoon, a different little boy walked into my home.  He looked deflated, defeated–just the exact opposite of the way he had left for school.  He came into the house, climbed into my lap and said to me, “all the kids laughed at me today”.

“Why”, I asked.

“They all laughed at me and teased me because I was wearing a pink shirt.”

He went on to tell me that the teacher did nothing.  My five-year old son went to school, on “Stand Up to Bullying” day, wearing the pink colored shirt that was designated for this day and was, ironically, bullied throughout the day and not a damn thing was done.  What would have been a perfect opportunity to have a dialogue about the day’s message, was dismissed and not even my son’s teacher stood up for him on “Stand Up to Bullying” day.

See, Number Two has always loved the color pink.  He has never seen it as  a “girl’s” color.  I mean, why would I tell him he can’t like a certain color because he lacks a vagina?  That is just stupid.  Psychologically, pink is a very soothing and calming color.  Number Two has a genetic disease (X-Linked Juvenile Retinoschisis) and, as a result, he is legally blind and could potentially go completely blind at any time.  If he wanted his entire room painted and draped in  pink, you can bet your ass I would oblige him.  My point is, he still doesn’t understand WHY he was teased about the shirt because he doesn’t realize that it is viewed as a “girl’s” color.

How the hell are we supposed to help our children learn to avoid being bullies or becoming bullies if the adults in charge of the main battleground aren’t participating?  I was impressed when I received the letter explaining “Stand Up to Bullying” day and proud that my children’s’ school was really taking a proactive stance.  As it turns out, though, it was just a chance sell some t-shirts.

Author:

I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

19 thoughts on “Stand Up to Bullying—Or Just Stand There and Do Nothing

  1. That’s horrible. T helped organize something similar for her high school. Thankfully, it went off beautifully. It’s a shame that the adults allowed the other kids to tease your son over something that was supposed to be school wide for something so important.

    Like

  2. That is absolutely ridiculous! Our school has a no bullying policy as well, but it seems like most of the time, they would rather sweep things under the rug instead of dealing with them…very frustrating!

    Jessica @ Mom 4 Real

    Like

  3. That is awful and ridiculous. Our school had the same event last year and most of the kids wore the pink shirts that say “Stop Bullying” or something like it on them, many kids wear still them occasionally (my daughter one of them, but boys do to). This whole thing started because of a young man who was teased for wearing pink and then a bunch of kids at his school rallied around him and had a pink shirt day. http://www.standupday.com/08/participants/index.php?target=pages&page_id=whypink

    What a missed opportunity at your son’s school to actually teach about bullying to but a stop to such destructive behaviour. I hope the school did something to fix this incident.

    Like

  4. Best of luck to you- my 5 year old was told repeatedly that a particular child was going to “cut his head off with a machete’ ” – the school said my idea of bullying and theirs was different (no body actually hurt my son) I got a letter from the secretary at the front desk of the psychologist office where I took him (she was also one of the founders of the organization) – they said he had indeed been traumatized – The school informed me it was a “fraudulent” letter because the “secretary” wrote it – I could not in good conscience turn my innocent, intelligent, sweet little boy over to those stupid people any longer. We homeschool. I really do wish you luck. (I’m afraid I just don’t hold out much hope for it) Such a shame. Bless his heart!

    Like

    1. Wow! I cannot believe that would go ignored. It is just shocking, in this day and age when the news is full of stories of young children hurting or killing themselves as a result of bullying that it still isn’t being taken seriously. I am sorry that happened to your child. I wish I had the patience and organizational skills to homeschool.

      Like

  5. Awwww my hearts for little Number 3! It is horrible that his teacher didn’t say a word to the children that were picking/bullying him. Schools want to put on a good front when it comes to bullying, but in reality they won’t do a damn thing until something drastic happens!

    Like

  6. Oh, that’s crazymaking!!! And on Stand Up to Bullying Day, no less.

    My 10-year-old was shoved into a wall and choked by a kid who specifically said he was trying to kill him. The principal called the boy (and two cohorts) into the office to talk to them and determined that they were “playing a game that got out of hand.” She told the boys the behavior “isn’t appropriate,” and they said they wouldn’t do it again. So it’s all good, right? *gritting teeth*

    We haven’t pulled him out to homeschool yet because he insists he doesn’t want to be, but we’re reserving the right to overrule him at any point.

    Like

  7. Oy, one of my pet peeves! The world is waaayyy too obsessed with assigning colours, toys, clothes items, mates etc. to the respective genders and shunning perceived violations of these ‘rules’. Why on earth can’t my boy wear tights, play with dolls or love his orange shirt?! It does not make him grow a vagina, become stupid or gay (unless he was going to become gay anyway).
    So why is it acceptable to bully a little boy about his favourite colour? Teachers should applaude him for his independence and not caving in to peer pressure.
    And doesn’t the constitution say something like “No person shall be discriminated because of their colour preferences”?

    Like

    1. I agree! My son used to carry a purse and, OY! You wouldn’t believe how much flack I caught for letting him carry that purse. People talked like his penis wold fall off if he carried it one. more. time. As everyone knows, a little boy carrying a purse or liking pink (which was his favorite color) will eventually lead to him “turning gay”. People didn’t understand that, not only did I know that a preschooler carrying a purse wouldn’t cause him to be gay, I DON’T CARE if any one of my sons came to me and told me he was gay.

      Like

  8. OK . . . I read the blog entry
    Then I clicked on “comments”
    Then I read all of the comments
    And I read your three replies to comments
    But . . .
    Ummmmm . . . .
    Well . . .
    Maybe I missed it?
    What did YOU have to say . . . to the Principal, to the unbelievably lazy teacher, or to other parents at the next PTA meeting?
    ?
    ?
    ?

    Like

    1. They didn’t even talk to the other parents. They felt I was overreacting to a child demonstrating a “crush” on my daughter. The principal/teacher said their hands were tied and the kid said he gave the silly bandz back (which he didn’t but that was beside the point) and that it was her word against his. The only thing that I could do was pull her out of the after school tutoring program, where this all took place. The bully was expelled a few months later for bullying another kid and has since moved away.

      Like

It puts the comment in the box.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s