Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

People Just Never Cease To Amaze Me

After my recent blog about the stupid things people say to pregnant women and just when I thought I had heard it all, I had an encounter during a recent ultrasound that took the cake.  Let me preface this by saying that it is rare that something or someone renders me speechless.  I usually have a lot to say and will voice my opinion at any given opportunity but this woman put me at a complete loss for words.  Okay, so let’s get in the DeLorean and go back in time to my ultrasound appointment a week ago…

I am laying on the table, with my shirt pulled up over my ginormous belly and the paper table-cloth tucked into the super sexy elastic lining of my shorts as the tech is typing random shit into her computer.  She starts asking me the usual small talk questions over the sound of the “PPPPPFFFFTTT” made when she squeezes the bottle of gel over my stomach.

Tech: “So, do you have any other children?”

Me: “Yes, this is my fourth.”

Tech: “How old are your others?”

Me: “I have a ten-year old daughter and my sons are five and two.”

Tech: “Do they all have the same Dad?”

Me: *blank stare* “Huh? Yeah. Ummm—-wait—what?!?”

Tech: “It’s just that, usually, with an age gap like that they don’t have the same father.”

The talk switched to the baby on the ultrasound screen at that point, which immediately held my undivided attention, completely distracting from the awkward exchange that had just taken place.  After I left the doctor’s office, the conversation replayed in my head and I have to admit, it really pissed me off.  What the shit kind of question is that to ask?  It is obviously irrelevant to the job at hand and, therefore, none of her fucking business.  For the record, my children were all fathered by my husband but I still found the question completely obnoxious and intrusive.  I haven’t said anything about it to anyone else at the doctor’s office but I keep wondering if I should.

 

What are some of the most obnoxious questions or comments you have heard, pregnant or not, from strangers or alleged professionals?

When did you lose your virginity and what is the diameter of your vaginal opening?

Author:

I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

17 thoughts on “People Just Never Cease To Amaze Me

  1. I remember my midwife saying to me: oh, you’ve got a stretch-mark on your hip. Oh, one on each side. How unfortunate! (these were the only bloody ones!!)

    I lay on the bed with her fingers in my, well, y’know, and she continued making comments that were plain odd. I felt like saying: I have two. TWO. They’ll fade but you’ll always be a hag. Instead, I just lay there. Staring at the ceiling. Wanting to die…

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  2. I know. What a cow. Wouldn’t mind but she was hardly loves young dream.

    Also nice when people feel they have every right to touch your bump, give it a rub and dispense advice. Without being asked. PFFT!!

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  3. I don’t remember anything terrible (other than the, “Oh my god, you’re huge!” comment from someone I hadn’t seen in a while), but a friend of mine was pregnant with her third child (first with her second husband) and the HR person (yes, the *HR* person) at our company asked, “Was it planned?”

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  4. Mine came after I had the baby. Three weeks postpartum we run into someone from my work, who isn’t known for her tact. Or intelligence. She declares “I thought you had the thing. You’re still showing!” Keep in mind I was wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans. I had a bit of a muffin top but I was hardly huge. And thanks for referring to my baby as a thing.

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  5. I had the ultrasound tech say the same thing Stacie if all my kids had the same dad I thought it was odd.

    I had my gyno when i was preggo say i had a nice size uterus and that i had breeding hips and i was meant for breeding. I was like wtf am a horse or something.

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  6. Oh my, I’ve been reading your blog back to front since last night, and I really can relate to what you say in so many aspects!

    As for pregnant women (how come you haven’t written a rant about “pregnate women” yet? *g*), here’s what my husband’s grandmother said to me when I was about 6 months pregnant with my daughter:

    “Well, I haven’t bought you any presents yet. After all, the baby might still die.”

    What took the cake, however, was my ob/gyn after the birth of my son. I had been hospitalized about 5 weeks after the cesarean because of a burst abscess on my kidney. After I was discharged, I made an appointment and went to my ob/gyn for a checkup a few days later. That man actually greeted me with the following words:

    “Oh, Mrs. G., I’m so glad to see you all in one piece! The hospital told my how close a shave this had been, and I had to think of your family. After all, one can always replace a child, but one can never replace a mother!”

    Needless to say, that was the last appointment I had with this moron.

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  7. My husband and I are working on all the fertility crap, and I had to go in for an ultrasound to make sure I had both ovaries. The woman conducting the ultrasound must have been having a bad day (not that that was an excuse) and said to me, “You don’t even want kids. They ruin relationships and make life hell.” I was floored. It was a few months ago, and it still burns me up.

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  8. During my pregnancy with kid 1 we were pretty sure that we would only have 1 child and when I responded to “are you going to have more” (inappropriate question from someone I just met) I said ‘no’. The response from her was “then what happens you die? He or she will have no one” WTF kind of comment was that? The look on my face wrongly suggested that I was looking for more bad advice so she then said “And what if something happens to your kid and you’ve only had 1? Then you’ll be childless” Again…WTF? A back-up kid?? I am convinced that when it comes to pregnancy all bets are off with inappropriate comments and advice from complete strangers. And don’t even get me started on the ‘you’re pregnant and somehow that gives me the right to touch your belly even though I’m a total stranger’ phenomenon.

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  9. Holy crap. I am medically incapable of breastfeeding so I bottle/formula-fed my two through infancy into toddlerhood. I can’t even remember all of the stupid, insensitive, rude and outright offensive things women said to me about it. And come to think of it, it’s irrelevant whether I was incapable of breastfeeding or just chose not to. Apparently I have the freedom to govern my womb but not my breasts.

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