Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

Real Women Have Curves

And women with small breasts and narrow hips are considered “fake women”?  Is this like telling the difference between a real Louis Vouitton purse and a knockoff?  Who comes up with this shit? What is the definitive criteria for being considered a real woman?  How many curves are required?  Is there a minimum and/or maximum measurement of these curves that are considered requisite to being categorized as a real woman?  Are there certain areas where curves must be present and other areas where the curves are irrelevant?  Is it okay if one has narrow hips but has big boobs or big hips and no boobs?  Must you have  both?  If a flat chested, narrow hipped woman purchases tit and ass implants, does she get promoted to “real” status? What about athletic woman, like runners or swimmers?  They are typically very lean, does that make them fake?

I have some images that I need categorized; are these women real or fake:

This bitch has some major curves. Is she a "real woman", even though these curves are after market upgrades?


I assume this woman falls under the "real woman" umbrella?
This woman is a cancer survivor who underwent a double mastectomy. According to the rules of what constitutes a "real woman". she is fake. Right?


Dara Torres is a world class athlete but the saying isn't "real women have discipline and great eating and exercise habits" is it?



Real woman?
Women with untreated psychological disorders are not real?


If these are all "real women", the expression should be "real women have curves and a greater risk of heart disease and diabetes".


I am 7 months pregnant and am anything BUT thin.  I have curves to spare.  My boobs are comically large and my stomach is huge and my ass is catching up to my front.  I am a safety hazard to the general public if I turn around within 5 feet of other people.  I just didn’t think that my measurements were the defining characteristic of  “real” womanhood.  I thought it was a vagina.  Do very thin, narrow hipped, flat chested women not have vaginas?  Does it turn into a penis or close up and become smooth, like a barbie?  Although, barbie’s actual measurements would have made her very top heavy, with a small waist and large hips, so she would have been “real” by the curves rule of thumb.  Even when I was really thin and had almost no curves, I always had my vagina.  Now, I can get behind changing the rules to “real women have vaginas”.  Let’s make it official and get t-shirts.


I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

23 thoughts on “Real Women Have Curves

  1. i’m not sure you get the point of the “Real Women Have Curves” spiel. The phrase wasn’t created to ostracize women with various types of bodies. It came about in response to the unhealthy, unrealistic, ever-thinner models in the fashion industry and the dangerous norm coming about in American culture that the thinner someone is, the cuter. This isn’t to say that people can’t be thin and beautiful or shouldn’t focus on being healthy and happy! “Real Women Have Curves” should boil down to “stick skinny is not a standard of beauty” not “if you’re not curvy, you’re not a real woman.” I see your point about how this phrase doesn’t work for everyone, but I think you missed the point!


    1. The meaning is open to interpretation and that is subjective. That may be what you take from the expression but it doesn’t make it universal. I find the “real women have curves” expression to be irritating and offensive as it implies exclusion of other body types.


    2. as someone who is thin and has been on the receiving end of comments about how i’m not a ‘real woman’ or how i’m only ‘prepubescent’, ‘a twig’, ‘a stick’, ‘anorexic’, etc (i’m not any of these and never have been) i don’t think you’ve understood the criticism of the phrase. the point is that the phrase is used to be exclusionary – basically it serves to do the very thing it’s meant to be opposing. and for that it should be criticised.


  2. Me does have a point but his analysis culminates to the myopic view that you are dispelling in your blog entry. The essence of womanhood does not lie in curves nor in being a size zero, and this is what I am getting from this particular entry. A real woman is one with a vagina, period! That vagina however comes in different packages, that in no way make her less of a woman, or more of a woman than any other.


  3. I like this. As one of the few women that are uber-skinny (due to genetics and multiple health problems) I have to agree that throwing around the phrase can be a bit insulting to non-curvy women. I’m sick of being told to “eat a sandwitch” or being asked “how do you function” or being told that I am “unhealthy.” I’m all for advocating that women come in multiple shapes and sizes, but I feel that as much as this particular phrase is meant to include all women, it excludes a lot too.


    1. oh my god yes! the dumbest comment i’ve ever received was someone asking ‘do you eat?’ like, no, i get nutrition via photosynthesis.


  4. Uhhh except saying “real women have a vagina” erases all trans* people or people who don’t fit the gender binary. Some people with vaginas aren’t women because they don’t id as women, and some people with penises are real women. Not to mention intersex people.


  5. This is such a great article. We have an annoying newspaper called the Daily Mail which uses curves to say fat – so and so celebrity is flaunting her curves meaning she’s such a fatty she should be hiding inside. But it has become such a meaningless phrase, and what does it even mean? I’m ordering my t-shirt as we speak.


  6. I have a friend who eats contantly but has one of those shitty metabolisms that makes her thin despite her best efforts. A dude she and I worked with told her that if she was his girl he would feed her sandwiches because she didn’t have to be “ribbed for [his] pleasure”. He was very magnanimous since my then twenty one year old friend wanted nothing more than to meet a thirty+ balding has-a-oozing-pus-filled-boil-on-his-head man’s ideal standards of beauty and he was willing to help her.


  7. a saw the title of this post and was ready to put on my angry grrr face i normally have in response to that phrase, so i was so happy to read what you wrote. yes, my breasts are 30aa size and i don’t always wear a bra because i don’t really need to support anything, but i’m still a ‘real’ woman. unless i’m a figment of everyone who knows me’s collective imagination.


  8. Thank you! And I shall just take a moment to rant myself…Somehow I managed to get the Norwegian skinny from my Dad’s genes…I’ve put on a little padding but I have no hips whatsoever. Sometimes I swear I don’t even have hipbones in there. I also don’t have a waist…I’m just kind of a rectangle. That is, until you reach the oversized rack my mother was kind enough to pass down to me. And WHAT THE FUCK is with people asking if they’re “real”? Is it ANY of your goddamn business? Is boob size intrinsically linked to other fatty deposits or bone structure? And where do you get the balls to ask me that, seeing as how I don’t even know you?


  9. Raal Women Have Curves… has nothing to do with their bodies and everything to do with their brains. The female brain is a wonderful device that can take the twistiest, curviest situations life throws at them and allows us to handle it like a fine sportscar on greased rails. Yeah, us!


  10. See I have curves, and I think the reason why the slogan was made is because girls that aren’t nightmarishly skinny, struggle with their curves and misjudge them. It makes you feel like a fat ass. That doesn’t make sense, but it happened to me. All I wanted was to be skinnier. I hated my ‘thundering waist’ and ‘awkward boobs’. I think the slogan isn’t to diminish the value of women who are skinny/flat at all- but to make curvy girls feel ok about themselves. I think the person who made the slogan understood the way curvy/larger women felt about themselves and wanted to say ‘hey, don’t believe you’re not the ideal picture of beauty our society find desirable- you are beautiful’. So many girls are trying to live up to fake standards with the railway skinny idealism- and starve themselves and hate their bodies. I think the slogan ‘real women are curvy’ is uplifting to me. As soon as I read it I was happy that someone was sticking up for curvy girls- then I realized that women who are curveless must find that offensive… but saying ‘real women are curvy’ doesn’t mean it’s protecting the ‘perfect women’ we see going down the run way, it’s saying it’s ok not to be like that… at least, being a curvy woman myself that’s what I got from it. Oh well, I guess this is what makes the world so great, that two people can see one thing and come to completely different conclusions.


    1. And it’s not diminishing to refer to other women as “nightmarishly skinny”? Some women are naturally as thin as runway models due to high metabolism. They are perfectly healthy! It’s sad when others need to tear them down to feel good about themselves. I agree we shouldn’t have such a narrow standard of beauty, but it’s quite counterproductive to refer to someone else’s body as “nightmarish”.


  11. I’m a fairly thin girl with narrow hips and a ‘B’ in the chest area. I struggle with this as I feel I don’t have enough of a curve. You see thin women with lots of curves (like hips) but I seem to have been left out. Often I feel like I have the body of a girl not a woman and honestly it kills me. I feel unattractive and unsatisfying to any guy I might date. I don’t base my self worth on what men or anyone thinks of me except myself. But I can’t help but feeling terrible about myself because I don’t have curves.


  12. Originally, it was probably meant as a statement that the “ideal” we see in…well., everything, doesn’t exist in nature or outside Photoshop. Then it was promptly hi-jackes by the obese women as a battlecry against the healthy, the athletic, the naturally slender women they are so desperately jealous of.

    Im an actual “curvy girl.”. My real measurememnts are 33-24-34, I wear a 32-34B. Those “curvy” girls you show in those pictures are just morbidly obese andnillustrate how fat girls hi-jacked “curvy.” “Curvy’ ” refers to the hourglass shape of a woman, and a true hourglass is having a waist 7-10″ smaller than your hips (look it up.) It doesn’t matter if you’re “fat” or “skinny.” A girl who is a 30AA with a 23″ waist and 30-33″ hips is curvy, a girl who is a 68FFF with a 48″ waist and 55-58″ hips is curvy. If your waist is 30 and your hips are 33, you have a boyish figure. If your waist is 32 and you’re hips are 28 you ate not boyish or curvy. My skinniest was 32B-22-32. My fattest was 34C-27-37. Most women you see walking down the street have curves, but not many true hourglass figures are seen these days.


  13. I’m ribbed for everyone’s pleasure, my ribs are always visible. I wear a 32C. I have a tiny waist. Below that I’m “fat” with 35″ hips, a bubble butt and thick, muscular thighs. The combo makes me perfectly curvy, but to look at each half individually I’d be called “fat” or “anorexic.”. Thanks to media, boys these days grow up not knowing that real women come in more than stick-figure with fake fits and cookie-cutter plastic faces.


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