Who comes up with this shit? I am convinced that whoever conceives these ideas is either A) on drugs B) psychologically and intellectually stunted or C) an soulless piece of shit who intends to drive a large portion of the population into insanity.
Let us begin with what has become visual crack for my youngest: Callou. I would rather him watch “Faces of Death” than this whine fest. First of all, Caillou whines more in one 25 minute episode than all three of my children have in ten years, combined. The sound of this character makes me want to punch myself in the face. Second of all, why the fuck is he bald? He is four fucking years old. Does he have alopecia or cancer? Then there is his even more annoying sister, Rosie. This little bitch talks in the third person and no one, not one person, corrects her. I don’t care how fucking young your kid is, if they start talking in third person, correct them so they don’t turn into some asshat that bestows a douchy nickname upon themselves, like “the Situation” but I digress. Then there is the entire concept. Caillou is a whiny ass little brat, with a whiny little sister who refers to herself in the third person and they have a bunch of super annoying friends who all suck too. The best thing I can say for Caillou is that, at least, his parents are around.
Which brings me to Dora. Where the fuck are Dora’s parents? How many times does this kid have to get lost before someone calls the proper authorities and reports her parents for neglect? Are they sleeping off the crack? When your kid comes home day after day and is telling you how she got lost and some weasel was after her trying to steal her shit, maybe you should pay the fuck attention. When your kid is telling you day after day about her talking animal friends, maybe you should have her drug tested or take her to a psychiatrist. Also, if your kid is standing next to the fucking forest and asks, “where is the forest?”, get her some corrective fucking eyewear.
Yo Gabba Gabba is the creation of some serious mind altering drugs. I am pretty sure it all makes sense for children taking acid.
This list is the tip of the iceberg, for me. Let me know what shows drive you insane.