Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

When I Get My Hands On This Kid…

I busted my hump cleaning and organizing my refrigerator and I walk into the kitchen an hour later and there is juice spilled on one shelf.  The lunch meat is moved from the drawer to a shelf and has been left open and someone took the last slice of cheese but left the wrapper and package in the drawer.  I turn to the nearest kid and ask “who did this?”.

I walk out of the living room for a minute and a half to put away the vaccuum, while all three children are quietly watching television.  When I return, there is popcorn strewn from one end of the room to the other.  “Who made this mess?”, I ask.

I hear a crash and a breaking sound and I sprint into the other room and discover my crystal vase in pieces on the floor.  “Were you kids playing basketball in the house?”, I inquire.

It is always the same answer.  The same person.  Some little shit, a friend of theirs from school, I assume, and his name is “Whuzentmee”.  I feel so guilty for always jumping to the conclusion that the responsible party is one of my children.  As it turns out, my children are perfectly behaved angels and are not responsible for any of this. Strangely enough, I have never met this child personally but he is here all. the. fucking. time.  Obviously, this child’s behavioral issues stem, in large part, from total neglect by his own parents, since this kid has been here at all hours without my knowledge and his parents never have called looking for him.

This kid is wreaking havoc on my home. Whuzentmee has broken dishes and crystal, has flushed toys down the toilet, has spilled entire pitchers of juice and thrown salt around the kitchen.  He has been on the computer when no one had permission to be on the computer and has interrupted DVR recordings, which my children know is a death wish.  This kid is out of control.  He also conveniently disappears right after he creates chaos.  I’ve checked the school directory, since I have been wanting to call this kid’s parents and let them know what a hellion they have on their hands and ask that they keep him  home but, evidently, he is unlisted.

I was recently surprised to learn that this little hell raiser gets around.  He has been to almost every. single. one of my friends’ homes and has been wreaking havoc and leaving their kids to take the blame for it, as well.

If anyone has any idea how to contact his parents, let me know.  Better yet, if you have an address, I think it is high time that someone call and report these parents for such blatant neglect.  They need to take care of their kid.  I know that if this kid would stop visiting, my home would be quiet and immaculate.


I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

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