Posted in Parenting and Random Shit

You Don’t Even Know What You’re Saying

People misuse words and phrases all. the. fucking. time.  Depending on different variables, it can be irritating but, regardless, it is always amusing.

Pay attention class, there will be a pop quiz:

  1. “I love my husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend unconditionally.”-Do you even understand the definition of UNCONDITIONAL?  Here is the bottom line:  If you have a single brain cell, an ounce of dignity or a smidge of self-worth, you do not love that person unconditionally.  Let me tell you something, I love my husband completely but you can bet your sweet ass that there are conditions on that love.  I can’t guarantee I would or could still love him if he cheated on me, beat me or hurt one of our children.  Do the people who make this claim understand, at all, what they are saying?  Would they really be willing, much less able, to love that person if they were found to be a murderer, rapist or pedophile?  I know I couldn’t.  I would say the closest you will ever come to knowing unconditional love is the love for your children.
  2. “For all intensive purposes”- The correct phrase is “For all INTENTS AND PURPOSES.” and means, basically, “for all reasonable/practical purposes”.  What the fuck is an intensive purpose?
  3. “He/She did a complete 360.”-So, what you are saying is that they have come full circle and are back to where they started from.  If you are trying to say that someone made a complete change, you would say they did a “180”, indicating that they did a total turnaround.
  4. Nauseous v. Nauseated-If something or someone is “nauseous”, they induce or cause nausea.  If one is nauseated, they feel sick.  Rotten fish is nauseous.  Body odor is nauseous.  Both these things have the potential to make one nauseated.  If you say you are nauseous, you are saying that you cause others to feel nauseated.
  5.  Irregardless- This one is another one that gets under my skin and you will probably see me bitch about it countless times.  Regardless means “without regard”.  Adding the prefix -ir to the word only makes it redundant, meaning “without without regard”.
  6. “My kids are LITERALLY climbing the walls.”-Well, then get a fucking video camera because you are going to be rich.  Literally means “without exaggeration”.  When you say shit like “My head literally exploded.”, I literally want to punch you in the fucking face.  Learn the difference between literally and figuratively.  Thanks.

Don’t fucking tell me “Oh, those are in the dictionary”, either.  Dictionaries no longer prescriptive, as they originated.  They are now all descriptive, meaning they describe language.  The fact that society now has an overwhelming majority of vapid fuckwits wandering freely doesn’t mean that those of us that value the proper use of grammar and diction have to join their ranks.  Dictionaries list “irregardless” as a word because there is an abundance of fucktards that use it.  Dictionaries added the definition of figurative to the word literal because there is a plethora of  asshats that see a dress they like and say “I literally died”.  The existence of countless dumbasses in society doesn’t mean I am going to fall in line.

Look, I don’t claim to be perfect.  I dangle participles and end my sentences in prepositions all. the. fucking. time.  The above errors, however, are so blatant.  Just stop it.  It will keep you from looking like a total dipshit and keep me from writing blogs about how fucking stupid you sound.  Everyone is happy.

Author:

I am a stay at home mother with 4 children. I drink a lot of wine and curse like a sailor.

12 thoughts on “You Don’t Even Know What You’re Saying

  1. How about “unthaw”? That’s a favorite of mine. Thanks to morons everywhere, “thaw” and “unthaw” have almost equal definitions in the dictionary.

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    1. And you need to read the remaining part of my blog, in regards to the fact that it is in the dictionary. Today, dictionaries are DESCRIPTIVE, rather than PRESCRIPTIVE. At one time, dictionaries were PRESCRIPTIVE, meaning the PRESCRIBED the language. Not anymore. Now, they are DESCRIPTIVE, meaning the DESCRIBE language. Again, go look up the definition of the word “Literally” in Merriam Webster. Here, let me do that for you, mmmkay:
      LITERALLY:
      1
      : in a literal sense or manner : actually
      2
      : in effect : virtually <will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty or injustice

      What the fuck is that, you ask? Yes, as I stated in my blog, Merriam Webster has included the definition of FIGURATIVELY in the definition of LITERALLY. NOT because it is correct but because of the vast amount of fucktards that use it incorrectly, they went ahead and added it. Webster also has "IRREGARDLESS" and "AIN'T" . Since Webster is a DESCRIPTIVE dictionary, it describes language as it used.
      Obviously, you think that nauseous=nauseated, since you wanted to make this point. Webster will agree with you because Webster no longer prescribes the language and there are so many people that don't give a fuck about the proper use of the English language. Nauseous is an adjective meaning "sickening to contemplate; sickening or disgusting; causing nausea" and nauseated is a verb, meaning "to feel nausea; to feel sick to the stomach". The fact that Webster chooses to advance us further into idiocracy by promoting the dissolution of language won't keep me from judging those who use words like nauseous for nauseated, irregardless, conversate, ain't, orientate or literally in place of figuratively.

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  2. I just want to clarify on “ax” or “aks” in reference to “ask”. Unfortunately if you research that word (as I did since it was a pet peeve of mine) as it turns out, “aks” was one of the the original pronunciations & was at one time favored. It was even spelled aks. It is still used as aks heavily in Africa & also in Britain apparently & comes from the original word acsian/acsian (interchangeable spellings at one time). It is widely pronounced “aks” in the west indies & there is some question as to whether it has persisted in African American communities due to WHERE they learned English. It is thought to be a throw back from slavery days though. So I found the whole thing fascinating.

    I have a few myself, but one in particular seems to be “piece of mind” and peace of mind”. I see them both misused quite often. I can promise that having peace of mind is not the same as giving you a piece of my mind. I am sure you can agree they can be quite the opposite. 🙂

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  3. You’re right that nauseous means to cause nausea, but it really does have the double meaning of being nauseated. Or at least, it has since 1613, according to the OED. I really don’t mean to troll, but grammar is a pet peeve of mine as well.

    Also…I say ax =( It’s honestly just an accent, and I had no idea I did it until I went to college and was made fun of. Believe me, I know I didn’t just axe someone who finished the milk.

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  4. I am totally with you on the use of nauseous/nauseated. The fact that some dictionaries justify this crap by saying nauseous is now “in common use” for nauseated is ridiculous. The fact that a good English teacher will mark your paper down for these errors gives me hope. (Thanks, Mrs. Williams.) I hate having to yell at the tv for this nonsense — it distracts me from whatever stupid show I’m trying to watch!

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